I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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