I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
