How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
