Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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