I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
