I bet he comes in French.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
