babies were throwing up all over the place
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
