ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
