all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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