just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
