Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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