I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
