Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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