bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize