How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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