i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
