Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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