Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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