Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
