Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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