This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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