I need help removing her.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
