we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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