I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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