Can Purell be used as lube?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
