On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize