But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
