So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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