I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
