If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
