i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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