I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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