VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
