I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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