I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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