Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
