Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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