i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
