I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
foreskin is a definite game changer
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
