Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
