he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
