can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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