Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize