the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
