I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
