Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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