So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So many bounce houses so little time
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize