Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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