Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
