fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
