Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
