Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
