Taylor Swift is so right about you.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
