i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
zippers are such a cool invention
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
