Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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