we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
