the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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