I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
