I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
