Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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