Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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