She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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