Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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