Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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